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United Church of Shepardism

Theology: Monotheist, non-anthropomorphic God.

Divine ProphetCommander Shepard, aka The Sword Shotgun of God.

Chosen People: Humanity.

Holy ScriptureThe Deeds and Travels of Shepard-Commander, by St. Legion of Consensus.

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Holy Lands:

1. The Citadel. Where Commander Shepard accepted the burden to become the Defender of the Galaxy.

2. Earth. The ancestral homeworld of Commander Shepard.

3. Alchera. Where Commander Shepard died, and was later resurrected by Cerberus the Divine Will of God.

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Religious Holidays:

1. April 11th. Shepardmas, or the birthday of Commander Shepard.

2. June 6th. The day Commander Shepard was killed.

3. August 22nd. The day Commander Shepard was resurrected.

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Clergy:

The United Church of Shepardism. Holy See: The Citadel

Pope: Conrad I of Verner, the Extreme

Archbishop of Thessia: St. Liara of T’Soni

Archbishop of Palaven: St. Garrus of Vakarian

Archbishop of Tuchunka: St. Grunt of Urdnot

Archbishop of Rannoch: St. Tali of Zorah

Archbishop of Earth: St. David of Anderson, the Baptist

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The Ten Commandments of Shepardism:

1. Thou shall have no other Commanders except Commmander Shepard.

2. Thou shall not get yourself Indoctrinated, and worship the Reapers. Worshippers of Reapers shall get Cained.

3. Thou shall visit Commander Shepard’s favorite store on the Citadel, at least once in thy lifetime, if thou art able.

4. Observe the Shepardmas and keep it holy, as the Shepard thy Commander commanded thou.

5. Poison not customers drinking at a bar, lest ye be poisoned.

6. Thou shall punch the reporter, and punch as hard as thou art able, for she doth ask for it and she shall deserve it.

7. Thou shall not take unnecessary risks, unless there beest a priiiiiiize of untold fortunes.

8. Thou shall not lightly dismiss claims simply because thou art an idiot.

9. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife, unless thou hast to save thy fishes from dying.

10. Thou shall not steal, unless thou beest in dire need for credits to purchase upgrades.

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Holy Relics

The Holy Grail: The thing in which more stuff goes. You shall put more stuff into it.

The Sacred Helm: Commander Shepard’s old N7 helmet.

The Ark: The remains of Normandy SR1. A central place of worship in the holy land of Alchera. 

The Shroud: Shepard’s old N7 armor. Currenty guarded by St. Legion of Consensus.

The Holy Lance: Shepard’s old SPECTRE - Master Gear rifle. Replicas sold exclusively at C-Sec Academy, Citadel.

(Source: social.bioware.com)

— 1 year ago with 4 notes
#Mass Effect 
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